Realist

*on a beach* TEDDY: "Man, this is great! I wish we had a friend with a beach house so they'd let us borrow it and we could stay down here more often!" ~ TEDDY: "I mean, I'd wish that WE had a beach house, but honestly I think even positing us making friends with someone who has one ALREADY stretches credulity...

 So it's probably pretty obvious where this is going, but if anyone did want to lend me their beach house...

...Or sell me their fixer-up beach house that just needs a bit of TLC for, like, a dollar...

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