Evens are Odds: January 2019

Debilitated

TEDDY: *Groaning* ALLISON: "Hey, are you OK? You seem kind of...distressed?.." ~ TEDDY: "Yeah, I COMPLETELY bugger my back putting on my pants this morning. I'm actually in a not-inconsiderable amount of pain..." ALLISON: "Oh. My... Are... are you alright?" TEDDY: "Eh. It's fine: It's just pain. As long as I don't make any movement what-so-ever it's almost forgettable..." ~ ALLISON: "I see...But then... Are you smiling, or is that just a grimace?.." TEDDY: "Are you kidding? I hurt my back. PUTTING ON PANTS. This is OBJECTIVELY hilarious!"

Adulting Achievement Level Unlocked: Clothing-Related Injury!

And I get that I'm too young to complain about being old, and it's really very petty and superficial to do so, but I considered going home early at more points than one today. From PUTTING ON PANTS!..

Curate

*Roughly inverse tan curve w/ "Your Content Threshold" plotted against "Your parents' content threshold" on the Y-axis, and "Your age" on the X-axis, the line being the "Content you consume as a family." The integral area for which the plot tends towards "your parents' content threshold" is defined by "Your parents prescreening content before watching it together to determine if it's appropriate for you", while that corresponding to "your content threshold" correlates to "You prescreening content before watching it together to determine if it's appropriate for your parents" (that area labeled as your 20's)

I spent entirely too long thinking about the variables here, and their relationships and derivatives of each other, before deciding I was getting too in my head about it and just wanted to make a gag about the shift in which party prescreens content in this dynamic...

Thom's Law of Probability

"In any given situation in which you have a 50/50 CHANCE of getting something RIGHT or not, you will get it WRONG 80% of the time..." ~ TEDDY: *Holding several 2x4's up to be scanned at the checkout* "I don't suppose you have a BARCODE sticker down there?" ALLISON: "Nope. Other side..."

Guess it's more of a modifier, really...

And I'm sure there's an actual psychological phenomenon for why it seems like this is the case that I could look up the name for, but ~~I'm to lazy to try to find that right now~~ that would take all of the magic out of it!..