On Demand

*Teddy pushes big red "Funny" button, nothing happens.* "Honestly, I don't know why I expected that would work..."

Because its totally not far too early in my webcomic career for me to be making meta jokes about not having any joke ideas...


I have no problem with (insert arbitrary Bruce Willis synonym here) destroying a bunch of bad guys in the first five minutes of narrative; I just want to see him awkwardly limping through the rest of the movie afterwards...  


"...Literally MILES of trunk space!" "So, to answer the original question, no this latch doesn't work..."



I'd actually be ridiculously easy to kidnap, because I'd pretty much go unquestioningly with any stranger creative enough to actually use this line, just out of commitment to the bit... 

Happy Valetine's Day!

Thinking of you. ~ And also about DINOSAURS, but that goes without saying...

Might have noticed that new tab up at the top, but now you can download this comic reformatted into my FLAGSHIP HOLIDAY CARD EDITION!! that you can download, print out and give to someone! Or keep, I won't judge... 

Snow Day

*Teddy, climbing out of snowy field, circuitous tracks running around trees leading from him: "So I was having way too much fun connecting w/ my inner child to actually come up with a gag here, but this setup has been comically demonstrated enough in 'Calvin & Hobbes' or 'Family Circus' that is must be inherently funny, right?"


I realize that literally every other person in Boston is over all this snow times ten already, but it doesn't matter because I'M HAVING ENOUGH FUN FOR ALL THEM!

(And yeah, the IRL version of this that keeps getting snowed over and reappearing in the Christian Science Center is all me...)


*Teddy with shopping cart full of cleaning supplies*    You can always tell when a single guy has visitors coming over.

I've come to the conclusion recently that, at least for my intents and purposes, there's little you can do with a vacuum that can't be accomplished with a good stiff broom.  

Dino-struction Archive

As you've hopefully probably noticed, I updated the sidebar with regards to the new content sections.

Again, if you haven't yet checked them out, BRAND NEW short story, other cool stuff, all that jazz I've already said elsewhere, that's not what this post is about:

What THIS post is for, is to preserve the construction dinosaurs I've become far too attached to to let simply slip into the internet ether.
So here they are, in all their glory, for your permanently-archived viewing pleasure:

Dear Dairy

Dear Dairy Audio Available!
This story kinda grew as an extension out of the 2014 Valentines Day Comic, so if you can remember that winter, you'll have an idea of it's setting. Only took me a year to actually finish it, of course, but its appropriate that finally wrapping it up is what I spent my most recent snow days on. It's pretty personal, which maybe explains why it was such a process actually writing it, but hopefully that makes it all the more intimate and cute.


If you're not subtlety cultivating the notion that you're secretly a lumberjack, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

Unless, of course, you have a different personal image; Then as long as you do you, you're doing it right... 


"If you ever think it's a good idea to re-read any of those 'old high school essays you just found,' do yourself a favor and don't." ~ "...Just don't..."

"But Thom," you say, "What about just this one. I remember this one; it was really good, funny and argumentative, but articulate..."

Nope. No it wasn't.

"I don't think you realize, I was very mature in high school..."

Nope. You really weren't.

"I've always felt my essay writing abilities peaked in high school..."

Nope, Nope, Nope! Trust me, for all our sakes, they really didn't...


TEDDY *wearing aviator cap & goggles*: "So can we talk about how airships apparently aren't a thing anymore?"

I had way too much fun envisioning the scene where Teddy goes to the dealership to trade in his car ("So, why are you looking to trade in today?" "I guess I just decided it was time I needed something that afforded a bit more mobility...") and seeing how far the conversation could play out before they realized they were talking cars and airships.

Also, I'm pretty sure "Airship Pirate" is my new favorite 'what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up,' if only for the hat and goggle mashups...


TEDDY: "Now. I'm not SAYING this was a clusterf**k, but if you happen to see a bunch of baby clusters running around..."

I wonder what the gestation period is for a "cluster"... 


TEDDY: "We are gathered here today to remember and honour the passing of a major fixture of my life in recent years." ~ "I know living and growing with me didn't always make for the easiest life. So much was expected of you, and even when I wasn't as understanding or sympathetic as I should have been, you always just gave & gave, with seldom an edgewise word." ~ "Perhaps your life was cut prematurely short, but you candle burned bright & hot, and we will never fail to admire all you acomplished." ~ "Rest well knowing that your legacy will always proceed you, and is continued in hands, while perhaps more suited, equally as capable as your body of work proved you to be. You were truly a hero of a..." ~ "...an appliance?" *pan out to see miniature Viking longboat containing disassembled laptop sailing off, Mark & Allison preparing to loose flaming arrows.*

RIP Ptaru
4 1/2 years of Architecture may have been half a year too much, but you were a trooper to the last