Evens are Odds: October 2016

Jack-o-Lantern 2016

*in Jack-o-lanterns* TEDDY: *poised over pumpkin* "Crap, do I have to carve an Evens are Odds pumpkin every year now?" ALLISON: "He said, so instagating the 2ND ANNUAL jack-o-comic..." TEDDY: "So what do I do? Kinda blew the load on POP CULTURE with the last one..." ALLISON: "Hmmm... Something TOPICAL?"

*below jack-o-lantern of Dumbledore* "PUMPKIN DUMBLEDORE for POTUS 2016"

"Initially gaining recognition as the second most orange presidential candidate, Pumpkin Dumbledore is actually rising steadily in the polls after last night's debate: It seems being inanimate was actually an advantage here, many undecided voters saying they found the silences punctuating his time for response to be a 'welcome relief' to the discourse we've come to expect from the major party candidates.

"In other news, in a rare instance of advocacy, the secret service has expressed concerns about the botanical candidate, though it is worth mention they have already been seen to be making discrete inquiries with the nations leading preservation specialists..."

...And I did miss Harry Potter in the last one, afterall...

Orthodox

"So you know that thing, where you're in a foreign country, say, like, ECUADOR, where you basically, generally speak the language, but also kind of not really? Say maybe 'cause your Aunt needed some books for work, and it was cheaper to fly someone down than to ship them, or something? And you're sorta unemployed still, so you were actually kinda free to go? Then, for the sake of argument, there was also a potential project with your other Aunt bearing consideration in the Amazon? But because this whole thing's all so short notice, the logistics are trick, and by the time you get positive confirmation from her contact there, it's already the middle of the night, and the only VIABLE way to make it happen is to get on an all night bus leaving in 40 MINUTES from HALF an HOUR away? So you have that long to decide whether or not to pull the trigger, pack, and leave the house? And then all the stations are closed, since it's the middle of the night, so you have to rely on word of mouth from the other bus drivers nice enough to stop, to piece together the schedule, leap-frogging through the night to find the right stop? All so you can get on this bus, ALONE, in a foreign country, where you kinda sorta speak the language, so it can take you to the last bastion of civilization, where you'll meet these people you don't actually know, so you can drive another 2 HOURS to the end of the road, where you'll switch to a CANOE to motor another HOUR and a HALF into the jungle to see if you can't suss this thing out?" "You know that thing?" "No?.." "Oh yeah, me neither....."

Ok yeah, so I'm basically just bragging a bit...

...But hey, if anyone ever questions just how amenable I actually am...

Cognate

TEDDY: "Hey, <sup>?" ~ *Teddy and Allison 'super-scripted' into upper corner* ALLISON: "Oh, nothing much, you?.." TEDDY: "Nothing much..." ~ *Teddy and Allison back to normal* "</sup>"

*Code...Code...Code...Snicker, giggle...Code...Code...Code*

In all seriousness, though, I think there's something to this closing tag thing in real life: Imagine, you're at that awkward potluck/analogous function, and you get stuck talking to that old person in one of those conversations that are literally just the explicit transcription of politeness, and once you've exhausted that recap of your recent life you're both just stuck there twiddling your thumbs hoping the other one will break first? Now imagine you could just drop a "</SmallTalk><Food>" and all live happily ever after...

Strategy

TEDDY: *playing chess* "Aha! Check mate!" ~ ALLISON: "No? What are you doing? You can't move your king into my king's radius!" TEDDY: "No, I'm evoking the nuclear option: You're boxed in, and none of your pieces can prevent my king from attacking yours directly - The two cancel out and destroy each other, dissolving the feudal hierarchy and reverting every piece still in play to a pawn until they can make it to the far side of the board to regain their original powers. Last man standing wins." ~ TEDDY: *to Allison's aghast expression* "Why, how do you play?"

Honesty, probably the hardest part about adapting to playing this way, is balancing the pieces on top of each other once you manage to "king" them...