Evens are Odds: 2015

(not actually)Spoilers

So me and my peeps were all traveling for the holidays, so weren't able to watch the FORCE AWAKENS rights away. That in mind, for all those like me who've been avoiding the internet like a new Stephanie Meyers book, I wanted to make sure EVENS are ODDS was a safe space-- ALLISON: "Oh man, the new Star Wars, tho!" TEDDY: "Oh man! I know, RIGHT!" NO wait, you guys! Maybe you didn't hear... ~ ALLISON: "I'll tell you, I was so concerned over whether it would be good or bad, I wasn't expecting such a THOUGHT PIECE." TEDDY: "Seriously! The whole SUBTITLED FRENCH thing? Completely off guard!" Nooo! We're trying to do a thing.... ~ ALLISON: "And maybe I should have been more primed with the whole 'Darth Jar Jar' thing, but that Chewie twist? DID NOT see that coming!" TEDDY: "I KNOW! Who would have guessed that Han was a MEATSUIT/VENTRILOQUIST dummy THE ENTIRE TIME!" GAAHHHHHH!!!.....

So they probably haven't written the script for Episode 9 yet, right? 'Cause I'm totally available...

$"T'was the night before Christmas..." ~ "...And all through the house..." ~ "...there wasn't a SINGLE fracking CLEAN DISH, even though half of them are mine in the first place, and I make a point of washing of anything I dirty almost immediately, have even cleaned the others' more times than I care to count for want of a clean sink..."$

#Roommates
#PrettySadWhenI'mTheResponsibleOne (though to be fair, #OLD)

So looks like this comic is what I'll be getting my roommates for Christmas; feel free to print it out and hang it on your wall too, for that not so subtle holiday message!..

Holidays

GRANNY DUKKINS: "So what about you? Is there anyone special in your life yet?" TEDDY: "Well, I almost talked to a girl with a BATMAN backpack last month, does that count?"

...Batpack, if you will...

As Many Words

As Many Words Audio Available!
Ah crap, did I just become a soppy romance writer?
In all seriousness, though, it's something I was thinking about, and I was trying to figure out a social context in which the idea could be broached, when it occurred to me that (despite all indications of my past record) there's really no limit on how short a fictionalized vignette can be, and whipped this little number up!..

Read it now!

Convenience

"Hello, Mr. Dukkins? I'm calling about the service we provide you that you are currently completely content with. At this time, would you be interested in being slightly less satisfied with it through the means of our occasional interrupting your life to try to up-sell you additional products you've shown no indication of wanting?"

Selective

*watching news report on refugee crisis about "GOP Candidates coming out against supporting refugees"* TEDDY: "It truly baffles me that it's a valid argument to bring Christianity into American politics when it's basically ONE TINY VERSE buried in the OLD TESTAMENT that kinda admonishes homosexuality, but not so much when it's CORE UNEQUIVOCAL FOUNDATIONS OF THE RELIGION - The Parable of the GOOD SAMARITAN, to name one poignantly applicable example that's only like the most obvious go to Sunday School lesson ever..."

I try not to bring politics into the comic too much, especially considering I'm personally inexcusably under-informed about the Syrian Refugee Crisis, but I've been feeling especially sick of double standards watching the media and internet news feeds these past couple of days--To say nothing of the prevalent trend of a handful of loud bigots giving the soft-spoken majority a bad reputation.

For the record, to paraphrase my dad, the Pastor with decades of theological expertise, the bible is not "very clear" on homosexuality (as I've several times heard it asserted): The bible is utterly uninterested in homosexuality--It objectively has more to say about, to take one example, menstruation- And I ~~think~~ REALLY REALLY HOPE we can all agree that stuff is so impossibly archaic, that to let it guide you today would be offensively laughable.

The bible is essentially two thousand years old (and the old testament's been stewing for six); Any version of it that we're reading today has invariably been translated and reinterpreted far more times than you'd care to count. Responsible reading of it is not about rote parroting of isolated, ambiguous passages: It's about emulating the overwhelming, undeniable themes and lessons. Lessons like generosity and stewardship; welcoming and caring for strangers and people in need; humility and dedication in the face of adversity. ("Love your neighbor as yourself": That one sound familiar?)

Which is not to say the discussion of the American politics regarding refugees is or should be a religious issue, but for my experience as the grandchild of two sets of missionaries, it is impossible to see this situation and not find it deeply evocative of the values I've grown up with. So if we're going to be bringing Christianity into political discourse anyways, can we at least do it genuinely for once, when it actually maybe has some applicability, rather haplessly wielding it about as some flashy prop as has become the all too comfortable norm?

Tropes

"So, I realized something this week..." *Pictures of Teddy as my Shoulder Devil and Allison as my shoulder angel.*

Teddy's shirt has always canonically been blue, but it may have just changed to red...

This is the Class We Need...

*"Dealing w/ Life After Architecture School 601"* "Alright. Today's lesson is about what to call unfamiliar people in professional environments you're not maybe used to. Now I now ARCHITECTURE has ruined you because everything we do is on a FIRST NAME BASIS, but that's not always the case."

Or if it's not the class we need right now, it's at least the class we deserve...

Jack-o-melon

Turns out they're significantly more watery than pumpkins though, oddly enough...

Might have noticed that 3rd jack-o-lantern in that last comic was a bit off-colour (pun entirely intended)...

Jack-o-lantern

Not sure how a Firefly class spaceship would've gotten into the How to Train Your Dragon universe, but I'm pretty sure the Doctor's mentioned the TARDIS has a garage, so I'm not ruling anything out...

Fright

*Ghost floating through wall* "BOOOOOOO! YOU DARE TOOOOOO..." ALLISON: "Gah!" TEDDY: "Holy crap! A ghost!" ~ TEDDY: "Quick, do you still have those sensors set up from lunch?" ALLISON: "I'll grab them! See if you can establish sentience!" ~ TEDDY: "Do you think of yourself as having a conscious?" ALLISON: "Ooh! Wait! Does you culture have a concept of multiverse theory?" GHOST *to other ghosts outside room* "Shit, they're SCIENTISTS! Run away! RUN AWAY!"

"I think they went into the basement--Oh good, you got the probe!"

Palace

TEDDY: "Shoot! There were 4 things I needed, but what was the 4th?.." ALLISON: "I told you to write them down." ~ *walking down LEGO aisle* TEDDY: "Ah, here we go! This was it!" ~ *Walks down CANDY aisle* "Oh, here we go!" *Sees BEER section* "Right, sorry. This was it. I didn't even know Target sold beer, but it was DEFINITELY this." "Of course! This clearance SMOKE MACHINE! That's what it was!"

It was actually duct tape. Not sure how I almost forgot that...

Slip

So far this semester kinda makes me feel like sticking my head in a blender full of ice water and pushing puree...

Calculated

TEDDY: "What the heck! My power adapter just died!" ALLISON: "It should still be under warrenty, yeah? We only got that computer at Christmas, so that's under a year..." TEDDY: "Good point! I should check on that..." ~ TEDDY: "Ok, who's even heard of a 37.5 week warrenty?"

Architect

ALLISON: "Uh-Oh. What's this project now?" TEDDY: *arranging desk cut-outs in a room* "Not a project really, This is...LESSON PLANNING..."

Welp, looks like y'all are gonna be in for a bunch of TA comics this year...

Now if I could just figure out how to arrange the massive desks in my tiny classroom to make a bloody circle...

Pallet Dry Bar

So this one was also part of the wedding, but figured it deserved it's own entry: To be fair, my sister had been cooking up the idea of a bottle cap bar top for years, but then we kinda decided since a lot of the friends who'd been helping her stock up on caps were going to be guests at this thing, it'd make a good show to try to pull it together for the reception seeing as we needed something for drinks anyways. Which was all well and good, except for the little hiccup that this was about a week before I had to go back up to school...

All this basically to say, I may not have been so quickly inspired to suggest the idea of building it out of pallets if it hadn't been the expedient option, but again I'd say it was definitely one of those happy accidents that really worked out for the best. It was still a bit of a mad dash working it around all the other projects I was trying finish before I had to leave my shop behind, but at least the beauty of that reclaimed aesthetic means you don't have to be quite as careful swinging the hammer on the finishing nails, and I somehow managed to get it ready to pass off to the happy couple in time for them to tackle laying all the caps.
Even then, we were still checking the tackiness of the resin the morning of...

Wedding Tent

(and a couple of other inevitable bits of landscaping and decorative touches...)

So apparently I do weddings now?

IDK... Basically in the earlier stages of my sister's planning for her wedding she off-handed complained within my earshot about how much it was going to cost her to rent a tent, and I, having my brain, immediately started do some math and pricing 2x4's... I've yet to confirm whether or not this was intentional on her part, but I think we all agree the result ended up with much more to offer on the aesthetic front than something more generic, and we got to have it erected for setting up more than just the day of, at a much more palatable price point!.. And I even managed to have a bit of fun with it to boot! ;)

Final tent came in at about 212 m², or 120 people + dance floor. Was a bit worried using the 6 mil poly to skin it might skew a bit "Breaking Bad," but when you see the irl oil-painting-photoshop-filter it gave the background, it definitely stole the show!
Of course, we put it all on in the padres backyard, so I hand my hand in most of the other projects, lighting, and errant furniture you'll see around the place, but those were largely more spontaneous than the title number...

Fearless

"Still, good way to go, amIright?"
*slurp*

Internet

There was a point in the activation process where you had to wait for the lights to stop blinking for a minute, and I literally just sat there and basked in its glory for the entire thing...

Instruction

BRAIN: "Are you sure you want to delete file 'LESSON_PLAN.EXE'? *'YES' is clicked*" TEDDY * in front of classroom*: "Right, shall we get started" "All things considered, I thought my first proper day as a TA went pretty well..."

Scumbag Brain: "You weren't using that, right? And all these notes and factoids from the lecture labeled 'IMPORANT: RETAIN FOR DISCUSSION TOPICS,' I'll just clear those up for you, right? Right?"

My marron tweed with olive elbow patchs, on the other hand, has been waiting for this day its entire life...