*Teddy approaching a creepy run down house on a dark, stormy night*   ALLISON *on the phone*: "...and you've NEVER heard of this 'Great Uncle'..."  ~  TEDDY *opening the front door to enter with a "creeeaak"*: "No, but my lawyer says the WILL is very clear: I just have to spend 1 NIGHT here, and the house is mine, just like tha---"  ~  *Door "SLAMS" shut of it's own volition, revealing a creepy ghost child looming ominously behind Teddy...*   ~   Cut to "...Several months later..." *house under renovation, brightly lit and cheerful*  TEDDY *holding up two flooring samples*: "Ok, so what do you think of these two: Harvest Wheat or Honey Oat?"  CREEPY GHOST CHILD *hovering casually on by*: "I dunno, I'm still not sold on White Oak over the Maple..."

This is almost certainly my white male privilege talking, but my tolerance for creepy ghost children is actually really very high when taken in consideration with my affinity for old houses in need of a bit of love, so you know, hit me up if you're looking for someone to give your *Great Uncle's place* to!..

...or if you wanted to pursue a sitcom featuring a Craftsperson-Creepy Ghost Child house renovation duo; we could talk about that too...

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