Cocktail Edition! - The Blithering Jarhead

"Evens are Odds Cocktail Edition" "The Patently Blithering & Jarheaded (or a "Blithering Jarhead" for short" "Price: $ Reasonable; Taste: Reasonably Drinkable; Rep: !Hipster Warning! ; Strength: Decent? IDK, I feel like my tolerance is a bit screwy right now..." "1. Get (1) JAM JAR that's finished, but still has those last clinging remnants that aren't worth it to try to clean out if you don't have superpowers/are a grandma..." “2. Fill (1/3) -1/4, I suppose, depending on the size of the jar and your preference- with AMARETTO. Secure cap, and shake vigorously till jam is dissolved(-ish; actual dissolving results/NON-chunkiness may vary, but at least try to get it largely dissolved from those trickier crevices…)” “3. TOP OFF with PORTER or similar toasty, dark BEER. Maybe give it a few light sloshes while you still have that cap lying around to ensure its all well mixed…” “4. Enjoy! Straight from the jar! It’s good enough for Portland, after all, and seeing as you were just going to recycle it anyway, you now effectively have the most legit ever disposable drinkware that you won’t have to properly wash!” ~ ALLISON: “So basically this is just an excuse to not clean or throw out the empty jars from the fridge, basically ever?..” TEDDY: “No, see, NOW I actually NEED them!”



Welp, there are two in the series now, guess that means I have no choice but to make a full Evens are Odds Cocktail book...


...Because it totally wouldn't be a terrible idea at all to even tangentially imply that these are legitimate and acceptable recipes that would be perfectly fine for an actual human being to try to make and consume in real life...

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