"The Whole 'Live every day like it's going to be your last' thing may be great in principle, but let's be real, it's not always super realistic in REAL life..." "...Personally, I perfer: 'Live every day based on what you want your tombstone to say..." *Image of tombstone engraved with "He died doing what he loved: Wearing a Pirate Hat."

Except now I have to start brainstorming what I want mine to say in the event of my untimely death... Could probably pretty safely use this one, substituting "sporting a beard" for "wearing a pirate hat"... 

What Architecture has taught me:..

1. SPLASH PUDDLES. It's far too easy to take yourself far too seriously: In the grand scheme of things, a couple of wet socks are easily worth the reminder to enjoy the little things, stigma be damned!

For a while there I was toying with the supporting image as basically the exchange to the effect of "Hey, hey. Wake up." "Wha...It's dark out, what time is it?" "Doesn't mater. You wanna go splash puddles?" "... Yes."

I totally can't see any reason I'm still single...


*Bunch of geese flying in formation yelling: "GUIDE!" "GUIDE!" "Guide!," etc.

Man, I really hope this is a general band camp thing, and not just me: The comedic potential in this one little word is far too hilarious to be AHS-Marching-Rams-specific... 


"Huh, there's not really a a version of the word "PHOTOGENIC" for CARTOONING, is there? What would that even be? Like, CARTOGENIC?" "Conducive to being mapped?"

Hey girl, I'd survey your peaks and valleys............

Vice Versa

"Uhg. I just remembered that the FAFSA is a thing.Like I really need to revisit that Hate-Hate relationship right now..." "Ha, yeah. Angst-Angst relationship?" ~ "No, be realistic. There's no need to take things out of proportion..."

It's comics like this that make me seriously suspect there's something wrong with my brain...

Still, all jokes aside; As long as you're careful to substitute "take" for the more commonly colloquial, "blow things out of proportion" this totally works in the inverse. I don't know why more people don't leverage it to this effect...

Day Hike

"You guys go on ahead. We'll run back & get it, then catch you up." ~ "Hmm, we're almost to the top: I'm surprised we haven't run into them yet..." ~ *see group far away on adjacent peak* "Ah. Wrong mountain..." "That would explain it..."

I think this is one of those ones that's not really funny, except that its something that's actually happened to me, and I'm basically really into the fact that my life is such that that can have been the case...

"Authentic" Iron Throne Sculpture

Given my usual tendency toward erudite nerdom, I'm generally pretty impressed by HBO's take on "Game of Thrones." One thing that I do have to raise some issue with, however, is their interpretation of the iconic "Iron Throne." Forget timid symmetry, any proper Song of Ice and Fire fan will know, George R.R. Martin's actual vision is a seat of absolute power and dominance, not for the feint of heart. I was thus inspired one ill advised day to set about capturing this perilously commanding supremacy in the only medium that can truly do it justice: actual knives!

Availing myself, then, of the benefits of an Architecture studio's essentially inexhaustible supply of discarded X-Acto and Olfa blades ripe for the upcycling and a decent pair of work gloves, I got cracking, and this frightening little number was the ultimate result...
Check it out on my etsy for more info.

Bootstrap Slider


"Any sport is a contact sport if you try hard enough..." *Teddy colliding bodily with pool wall*

That's the great thing about having contacts and no goggles, is you can veer off sideways into the side of the pool, so you get to do this twice in one race!..

Swim Suspenders

"They're stylish AND functional!..

'Cause the "swim belt," while perhaps just as functional, just doesn't check that first box in the same way... 


And we still need to get the drawbridge in there too... 


It's just a phrase I applied to my dinner the other night, that seemed to grow inherently funnier and funnier the farther into midcrit-sleep-deprivation I got. It's funny, right?


Ok, look I haven't slept in, like, a really long time,OK?..


I've also got a theory in R&D that this same headphone "technology" could have applications as  a type of industrial Velcro, useful in countless applications like docking to space stations, or creating quick-fastening tie connectors. The main hurdle at this point is getting it separated again afterwards... 

Beginning of the End

TEDDY *pointing at grass beginning to show through melting snow*: "Hey, another new kind of snow! I don't even recognize that one..."

The English have over 20 different words for snow.
It's true, you've got your snow, your slush, ice, mud, grass, peat...