This is the hangovercure someone needs to invent *depicts "life volume" control turning down harshly rendered panel to softly rendered panel*

It occurred to me in writing this that while it may not, for example, be possible to "turn down" the pointyness of your tables and plants as such, one could certainly hypothesis a device which would intercept the sensory signals in your brain, and just sort of mute them a little... Until I realized I'd just invented drugs, got super sketched out, and reverted back to my traditional "Ginger Ale" solution...


"Carbon's Easy" Yo mama so promiscuous, if she was an element, she'd be carbon...

Your mother is so egocentric, she thinks the whole universe revolves around her because she's special, when really it's BECAUSE SHE HAS SO MUCH MASS!!! hey-oh!


#when someone is trying to snapchat you when you're in successful stages of undress and you have to figure out how much clothing you actually have to put on to be able to decently reply

Actually handy that I drew this one as it serves a nice disclaimer: If ever I take (sadly my usual) six hours to snap you back, don't take offense, in all probability, it just means I'm largely naked, and keep missing the "next" episode to fish a shirt out of the laundry...


line graph representing positive correlation between "percentage of people on campus you assume are freshmen" and "what you are" increasing from "freshman" to "senior"


this is what happens when you return to a college town for the start of the school year after several consecutive fall semesters studying off campus * "senior" with several items behind long line of "freshmen" with overflowing carts
Seriously, how can there even be this many freshmen? Like, where do they all go after the first week?